


When death takes my hand

by Asphodel_Meadow



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Tumblr Post, Episode: s04e13 No Better To Be Safe Than Sorry, Fix-It, M/M, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 17:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19044835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asphodel_Meadow/pseuds/Asphodel_Meadow
Summary: Quentin steps outside the lift and is surprised when Penny doesn’t move from his spot.“We’re waiting for someone”, Penny says.





	When death takes my hand

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](https://davis-bess-666.tumblr.com/post/184985949804/the-magicians) tumblr post. As soon as I read it I loved the idea and so this fic was born.

 

When death

takes my hand

i will hold you with the other

and promise to find you

in every lifetime

-commitment

 

**Rupi Kaur**

* * *

  

Quentin awakes seated on the floor: his back is pressed against a wall and he is bracing his knees. He looks up and realizes he is inside a lift. Q gets on his feet and inspects the place. It seems like a normal lift, except for one detail. Instead of a panel where the number of the levels should be displayed, there is a small plaque with the next words: “Secrets Taken to the Grave”.

He wonders how long the ride is going to take. He is tempted to sit back again on the floor, but the small stall stops moving and a sound signals the arriving to its destination. Quentin takes a shaky breath, uncertain of what awaits on the other side.

“Hey. Been a while". Penny stands there. "Welcome to the Underworld”.  He motions Quentin to come out. Penny’s words are all the confirmation Q needs to know he has died.

“Oh, shit”. Quentin steps outside the lift and is surprised when Penny doesn’t move from his spot. “Shouldn’t we, uhm, leave?” Q asks unsure of how things work in the Underworld.

“No”, Penny answers. “We’re waiting for someone”.

Quentin tries not to think of who this someone could be. He definitely doesn’t think of Eliot bleeding to death nor he thinks of Alice and Penny23 running from the magic explosion. It doesn’t have to be someone he knows. The world is too large; it could be anyone.

After a whole minute, the lift descends again. Quentin knows this, because from this side there is a display of numbers. 7 turns to 6 and then to 5 and so on.  It feels like a countdown. Four seconds to meet them.

Three, if they have died at the same hour, would they have shared the lift?

Two, it didn’t feel this long when Q was inside there.

One, _please, God, don’t let it be someone I know._

A high pitch announces the lift’s arrival. Dull gray panels part to reveal the back of a (oh, so) familiar figure.

“Bring me back, you fuckers! I need to tell—” Eliot is yelling at the rooftop. He turns around to continue his shouting, but he stops midsentence when his eyes land on Quentin. All of his energy leaves him.

It takes them about three seconds to react. Q sprints to the where Eliot is standing. For his part, Eliot tries get out of the lift. The only thing that crosses their mind is the need to embrace the other, to touch. _Touch. Touch_.

But their bodies never meet.

Both of them hit an invisible barrier at the doors lift. Quentin doesn’t understand what is happening: that thing wasn’t there when he crossed. Eliot bangs his fist against the ward making some sparks fly.

“Q”, Eliot murmurs desperately. Quentin places his hands where Eliot’s ones rest on the other side of the barrier.

“What the hell is going on?” Quentin yells without taking his gaze from Eliot.

“He isn’t dead”, Penny says. He steps forward until he is beside Q.

“Cut the bullshit, will you?” Eliot barks. It is clear he is not in the mood for rubbish.

“Your heart stopped beating on the operation table”. Penny explains addressing Eliot. “But they’re trying to resuscitate you. Therefore, you can’t enter to the underworld”. Penny turns his attention to Quentin. “On the other hand, Quentin, over here, is definitely dead”.

Penny’s words set a fierce fire on Eliot’s eyes.

“What the fuck, Q?”

For the first time since the lift arrived, Quentin breaks the eye contact. He ducks his head and mutters: “It was the only way to save everyone”.

“A world without you isn’t a place worth saving”, Eliot declares. 

Before Quentin can reply to that; a loud noise echoes through the corridor. The doors start to close.

“It seems they managed to do it”, Penny comments casually. “I guess, they heard you”.

“Wait, no!” Eliot shouts. Lead by his instinct, Eliot uses his telekinesis to push the doors open. The magic slows down the process, but doesn’t stop it.

“El, what are you doing?”

“I’m not leaving”, Eliot affirms. His arms are lifted ready to cast again.

“You can’t stay, you aren’t dead.” Quentin exclaims effusively.

“I need to tell you something”. Eliot says at the same time Penny intervenes. “He will be, if he keeps doing this”.

“El, stop, please”, Quentin begs. “Let the doors go”.

There’s still an opportunity for Eliot to live, and Q isn’t going to let Eliot waste it. However, the other man seems to have other plans. He takes a step forward and, this time, he uses his hands to keep the doors in place.

“I _can’t_ leave you”. Eliot confesses with raw intensity, it makes Quentin’s chest tighten. “Q, I’m in love with you. I meant it; it’s not a world worth living”.

Eliot’s declaration leaves Quentin breathless. Life is so unfair. The man Quentin loves is in front of him, but he can’t reach out. Q can’t touch Eliot and let him know how important he is. _So fucking unfair._ Quentin wipes his tears and shakes his head violently. He’s going to save Eliot; he has to do it.

“You must, El”, he insists. “They need you, Margo needs you”.

“She’s stronger than everyone”, Eliot refutes, but Quentin can see the mention of Margo really affected him. Yet, Eliot insists: “Please, let me stay with you. Don’t you want me?”

“I never stopped loving you”, Quentin declares. How could he? But this isn’t about that. They are talking about El’s life. And so, Quentin reminds him: “I want you so badly that I need you alive”.

“Damn, Q, you should have followed your own advice”.

Eliot rests his forehead against the barrier. Quentin does the same and if he concentrates hard enough he swears he can feel Eliot’s warmth. It’s only a matter of time until Eliot caves in. Quentin decides to give him the last push.

“Do it for me, El. Live for both”.

Quentin’s plead makes Eliot close his eyes. Q has won. Eliot’s hands falls at his side and the doors continue their path. He stumbles backwards, but he keeps his fingers on the barrier.

“We’ll come back for you”, Eliot says, lips trembling. “I promise you”.

_This is the end_ , Q thinks. However, instead of closing, the doors began to withdraw. To Quentin’s left, Penny has inserted a card inside a panel.

“What are you doing?” Quentin is confused. _Did Eliot withhold the doors for too long? Did they lose their chance?_

Penny doesn’t pay attention to Quentin’s panic. In its place, Penny drags Quentin by his arms and then throws him inside the lift.

“I’m making our lives easier”, he says as he retires the card. “You owe me a big one”, is the last thing they hear as the doors finally close (with both of them inside the lift).

Quentin and Eliot barely have time to fuse into a hug before being blinded by white light.

 

When Eliot opens his eyes there are only white dots. For a moment, he believes he’s still inside the lift. Perhaps Penny’s little stunt didn’t work out. However, his doubts are quickly dissipated when Sunderland leans over him to check his vitals.

“He’s stable”, she informs to the other persons in the room.

“Q”, Eliot manages to murmur. “Where… you?”

Sunderland injects something in Eliot’s arm that makes him feel sleepy. Before he loses consciousness, Eliot gets a glimpse of Quentin standing beside her.

He tries to reach for him, but it’s fruitless. The medicine has already made effect.

 

Quentin realizes something isn’t quite right after Eliot falls sleep. Quentin expects Sunderland (of any other of the medical staff for that matter) yell at him for being in the operation room. However, no one repairs on his presence. It is until they walk through him, that Quentin comprehends that (maybe) Penny didn’t knew what he was doing.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on his new status, because, suddenly, they are transporting Eliot to another place. Quentin follows them, not knowing what else to do. They install Eliot on a nice room. After checking on the ambient magic, Sunderland begins to cast. Quentin recognizes the motions: she is making a healing spell.

Reluctantly, Q follows Sunderland outside. Quentin knows that Eliot isn’t going to wake up soon, but that doesn’t make any easier to leave the room. Q doesn’t want Eliot to think this was some hallucination product of his feverish mind. On the other hand, he needs to know if he is really alive. And the person Sunderland is going to talk to is the one who probably could help Q.

“He’s out of danger”, Sunderland says as soon as Margo approaches. “He lost a lot of blood and he is in bad shape from the monster activities. But, he’s stable now”.

“Is Eliot awake?” Margo asks.

“No, he will be out a few days. I decided to put him on a healing trance. And before you ask, visits aren’t allowed. Not today”.

“El is going to be fine, right?” There’s vulnerability in Margo’s eyes that Q had never seen before. It doesn’t surprise him: this is Eliot.

“He’ll be”, Sunderland affirms.

“Thank God”, Margo sighs relieved.

Sunderland leaves after the brief exchange. Margo takes advantage that she is alone to brace herself. A beat later, she squares her shoulders. Quentin approaches her and waits to be noticed. When Margo looks up, she doesn’t see him.

Quentin thought that maybe the fairy eye would make a difference, but he was wrong. Penny23 had mentioned that Margo could see Hyman's ghost. Actually, this is a good sign. This means Q is not a ghost.

As if being summoned, Penny23 walks into the waiting room. Once Margo spots him, she marches to him and immediately demands.

“Did you do it?”

“The monster and her sister are gone”, Penny23 announces.

“Fucking finally”, after a pause, she adds: “Not that you care, but Eliot is going to be fine. And talking about caring, where’s Q? I bet he will _want_ to know”. The mention of Quentin's name makes Penny flinch. Margo catches on the gesture. “Now, what?” she sounds equally parts annoyed, tired and worried.

Quentin doesn’t stay to hear Penny23’s answers. Q already knows what he is going to say. And he doesn’t want to see whatever effect his words have. Quentin returns to Eliot’s room. Once inside, he buries his face in his hands and cries quietly.

“What am I supposed to do?” He wonders. And as if to answer his question, a piece of information slips into his mind.

_When their hands meet the miracle would be complete._

Quentin stands beside the bed and reaches out. His fingers ghost over Eliot’s features. Q feels something stir inside himself: his magic is buzzing. It’s calling for Eliot’s magic, but there’s no response. Q understands the words now. Eliot needs to be awake to make the connection.

He needs to wait.

 

The first day only the medical staff comes in to check on Eliot. Quentin is surprised that Margo hasn’t demanded to see Eliot. However, Quentin remembers that she must be dealing with the news that Penny23 delivered.

For a fleeting moment, Quentin entertains the idea of wandering through Brakebills. Nevertheless, he knows it would be pointless. None of his friends would see him while he is like this. The only thing Q will achieve is see how they are taking the news of his death. The simply thought makes him sick.

The second day, Margo barges into the room with Sunderland hot on her heels.

“You only have an hour, Hanson”, Sunderland says from the door.

Margo sits in the chair closest to Eliot’s bed. She stares at him: her eyes inspect every inch of Eliot’s form. When Margo finishes her examination, she sighs.

“That bastard made a number on you, El”. One of her hands brushes Eliot’s long curls. “He ruined your pretty hair”. She tries to sound light, but her voice wavers.

Margo takes Eliot’s right hand between her small ones and kisses it. When she chokes back a sob, Quentin decides to give them some privacy. He stays outside the room, until (hours later) Sunderland comes for Margo.

The third day is almost identical to the last. The only major change is that after Margo enters to the room, Josh comes to deliver some coffee. He, just like Quentin, stays outside. They leave together, but Quentin can see there’s a distance between them. Perhaps, Alice had been wrong on her assessment of the situation.

The third day Margo is alone and she’s intercepted by Sunderland before she goes in.

“He’s reacting better than we expected”, she explains and for the first time Quentin sees a small smile on Margo’s face. “We’re going to lift the spell tomorrow”.

By the fourth day, the room is practically full. Margo arrives first; she is there while Sunderland works. Penny23 and Julia are the next ones, followed by Kady and Alice. Finally Josh and Fen make their entrance. It is until they are gathered around the room that Q notices that all of them are wearing black clothes.

“Did Sunderland give you any instructions?” Penny23 is the first to speak. The question is clearly directed to Margo.

She shakes her head: “I didn’t want him to be alone”. Margo has taken her usual place beside the bed. She’s holding Eliot’s hand.

“Are you going to tell him?” Alice changes the topic.

“He’s going to ask”, Julia intervenes.

“Forget about asking, he just need to take a look and he will know”, Kady comments.

“Perhaps, some of us should wait outside. Until Margo has talked with him”. Josh propones.

“No", Fen refutes. "Eliot needs to see he’s not alone”.

Before they settle the matter, Eliot begins to stir. His movements make everyone fall silent.

 

The first face that Eliot sees upon waking is Margo’s. She has leaned over the bed peering at him with his big brown eyes.

“Bambi”, Eliot murmurs. Hearing Eliot's voice illuminates Margo’s features.

After a second, the whole room becomes clearer. Everyone is there: beside Margo is Fen; close to the door, Josh; in front of his bed, Kady and Alice; on the corner, the other Penny; by the window, Julia; and finally, at his left Quentin.

Eliot’s gaze stays fixed on Quentin’s figure. He is standing with the biggest grin on his adorable face.

“Q”, he whispers.

“Eliot”, Margo calls him. “Quentin is—“

“Right here”, he finishes for her, without taking his eyes of Q.

“Is he alright?” someone mutters.

“Please look at me”.

“Do it”, Quentin says and Eliot obliges.

This time he really takes into the scene. All of them are wearing black clothes and they look tired, especially Alice and Julia.  When his gaze lands of Margo, she says: “Quentin is dead”.

Eliot shakes his head, the action makes him dizzy.

“It’s true, I was there when…” Alice’s voice breaks midsentence.

“He _was_ dead”, Eliot makes emphasis on was. “But, our Penny let him come with me and he’s right here with us”. All of them look at him with pity. “Don’t you see him?” Eliot turns to the spot where Quentin is standing and he asks. “Q?”

Quentin lifts his hand reaching for him and Eliot mimics the action. Eliot doesn’t care if everyone thinks he has gone mad. Q is here and he is going to prove it. Quentin’s palm feels cool against his. And when their fingers entwine, Eliot hears some yelling.

“What the fuck?”

“Quentin!”

“I thought we lost you”.

It is clear that now, everybody can see Q.

Eliot wants to drag Quentin into the bed and hug him and never let go. However, he’s too weak to even sit, so he squishes Q’s hand. Quentin gets the message: he sits on the bed and then leans to embrace Eliot. He is being (a lot) selfish. Eliot isn’t the only who lost Q. But, when Quentin’s arms hold him tightly, Eliot doesn’t have room for remorse.

A moment later, the others join the embrace. Eliot hears the muffled sobs of Julia. And when he groans because the pressure is too much, Margo says: “Get off, let them breathe”. But she doesn’t release Eliot’s arm.

They are interrogated about the whole resurrection thing. Eliot gets tired after the first couple of questions and Margo kicks everyone out except for Quentin. When Sunderland comes to check Eliot, she is surprised to find Quentin there. She insists on revising his vitals and Q lets her do it. She doesn’t find anything wrong with his health. Sunderland surprises everyone when she lets Quentin stay with Eliot.

Once they are left alone, Quentin joins Eliot in the bed. They sleep curled up together. For the first time since they recovered magic, they have a good night rest. Nothing compares to the feeling of peace they get from being in each other’s arms.


End file.
